----- Original Message -----
From: Len Cranford
To: palmer1941@comcast.net ;
Sent: Wednesday, September 30, 2015 12:02 PM
Subject: How to Get Into Heaven;
St. Peter & Forrest Gump
When
Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter
said, “Welcome, Forest. We’ve heard a lot about you.” He continued, “Unfortunately, it’s getting pretty
crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination
before we let them in.”
“Okay,” said Forest. “I hope
it’s not too hard. I’ve already been through a test. My momma used to say,
‘Life is like a final exam. It’s hard.’ ”
“Yes, Forest, I know. But this
test is only three questions. Here they are.”
1) Which two days of the week
begin with the letter ‘T’?
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God’s first name?
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God’s first name?
“Well, sir,” said
Forest, “The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the
letter ‘T’? Today and Tomorrow.”
St. Peter looked surprised and
said, “Well, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I
give you credit for that answer.”
“The next question,” said
Forest, “How many seconds are in a year? Twelve.”
“Twelve?” said St. Peter,
surprised and confused.
“Yes, sir. January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd …”
St. Peter interrupted him. “I
see what you mean. I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too.”
“And the last question,” said
Forest, “What is God’s first name? It’s Andy.”
“Andy?” said St. Peter, in
shock. “How did you come up with ‘Andy’?”
“I learned it in church. We
used to sing about it.” Forest broke into song, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks
with me, Andy tells me I am His own.”
St. Peter opened the gate to
heaven and said, “Run, Forest, Run!”
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